Heart of flesh

thought

2009-01-25T21:31:00.000-08:00

How did Jesus respond to Judus even though he already knew that Judus would betray him? Will a kiss betray us all? What does this say about trust and trusting each other?

a sending a calling

2008-11-10T04:35:00.000-08:00

As of now İ am sitting in my room. Outside the call to prayer is singing loudly. This is the first time İ have been able to blog ın weeks. There was limited access to this page from other computers. The days seem to blend together and İ am learning much about myself while trying to relax and trying to clear my head from the things that await me when İ return.

İt seems that life is short and that we are all trying to live in a world of injustice and selfishness. What is left to do but pray and trust God. As people of ourselves we are trying to live a little better than before if we have that luxury. Some do not. Some are enslaved.

Ocassionaly I am hearing that Americans are spoiled. We have every opportunity to do the things we want but few of us really take advantage. We are proud and ridiculous. What is hard to Americans is cake to the rest of the world. Generally our hardships are mental. Our hearts were buried long ago and passion is unseen.

Something İ have seen in many of the people here is a passion to follow their heart. Sometimes their heart can bring hurt but that does not stop them from continuing to risk, continuing to love, continuing to live.

So let us look to the good simple things in life. The fall leaves. Orange juice. Good wine. Air. Laughter. Wisdom. Love. Let us appreciate what we have now before we miss it. Let us not take anything for granted but have hearts of thankfulness willing to risk.

In Love...

2008-10-21T06:16:00.000-07:00

Books: Wounded Prophet, With open hands by Henri Nouwen, and Ruthless Trust by Brennen Manning
Music: Ryan Adams

My time experiencing the simplicity of silence and solitude was wonderful. We stayed at a retreat house by the coast. I arrived in the evening, we ate dinner, read a liturgy and began our time of silence. I was still getting over my jet lag a bit and my room had a lot of mold growing in it. (Sarah don't come here for vacation.) So in the middle of the night I woke with my eyes burning and my lungs hurting. I went to the sitting room and sat by the fire and prayed. It was a wonderful time of peace, and God speaking His love for me. In the morning they switched my room and I took a little nap. We read 3 liturgies each day along with some taize songs which will be perfect for me to learn on the harp. Through out my time I walked through a village and to the beach, as well as could not put the book wounded prophet Henri Nouwens biography down. I realized that I am in love with him (Kelsy I am not replacing him with George Orwell I now love them both equally.) His view toward life and vulnerability are always challanging me. I realized that of all the people I admire it is because they are open about their heart and therefore very much human in my eyes. They are relatable and comfortable to speak with. (Mary If you have not read wounded propet I strongly recommend it. After school books of course.) Now I am staying with a wonderful women named Amalie and she is making me feel quite welcome. We get along great and I have since painted my first big picture since my restart of water coloring. She wanted one for her house and I am quite proud of it.

As I continue to contemplate how to trust a God who is uncomprehendable, whose love is greater than I can grasp may you be blessed with peace and shining smiles in your daily life.

Arrivng to miricles!

2008-10-17T05:53:00.000-07:00

Well I am here in Belfast Ireland now. With a long trip and a cancelled flight it was hard to keep my eyes open but I made it.
I love how everyone here uses terms of endearment, like love, darling, or a new one from the taxi driver pat. It does make me feel better.

The Air coach (bus) dropped me off in front of a hotel which I asked to use the phone. I had previously exchanged enough euros some time in Ireland with out knowing that here in the north they use pounds. I tried to use the phone for about 2 min. before noticing the sign that told me. I then pulled out of my change purse containing 4 pounds, 1 to use the phone. No anwser. I was supposed to call her when I got here, so I left a messasge saying I would try and take a taxi to the base address. After a little thought I waited outside.

"Where too love?" Jim the taxi driver asked. "37 townshed please"
"Are you sure? I cant picture any houses over there just commercial" He said

we typed the address in and we checked it out,and there was nothing.
"Are you sure it might not be a church pat? I remember dropping a swiss guy off there once before." He said

That has to be it! We drove from the Catholic side to the protastant side of the street and arrived at a very lonley dark church. There was no one around.

"Well do you have a phone number pat?"

He proceeded to call the list of numbers I had from his cell, with no answer to any of them. At last I asked him to drop me off at a hostel. As we slowly drove away a little red car was honking and pulled up alongside us.

"Is that tierney in there" the girl yelled. It was Erin.

"why yes it is" relpied Jim, "Boy God is good, and what a great taxi driver you have"

Yes it was a miricle that at that time in the city she found me.

I then needed to pay him 5 pounds, which I did not have. I asked him if I could pay in euros, but that was not in the question... he went and got it from my friend.

I am so thankful that I did have a nice helpful Taxi driver. You never know who is going to take atvantage. I am so thankful that it worked out and that I am learning so much about trust in God. I miss everyone already but will be on my way to silence and solitude to night. I am a little tired but good.

Praises

On track mind...kinda

2008-09-24T20:03:00.000-07:00

In the last week I have finally felt some clarity in thought that I have not experienced in months. I have not blogged in awhile. So much has been happening and on the inside I feel as though I am stuck in rush hour stop-n-go traffic. I get going a little, try not to push the gas to much, neither do I try to push the break too much. Someone cuts me off someone else lets me over, and there is nothing I can do as I have to be patient and just kinda sort through.

Part of this feeling is do to my very Big news; however not so exciting as our economy takes a spiraling downshift. I traded my Vespa for a plane ticket.

This happened a few weeks ago. So I am going, October 15th - December 10th. Traveling on a pilgrimage across the world to seek peace with God. My own version of Eat, Pray, Love. Now that I think about it though it will look more like Pray, Rest, Love.

I will be leaving much behind to contemplate the way of Jesus, and the mold that I belong in, or got pushed into. I am a little nervous. Namely about trusting in God to provide. He has always proved faithful in providing for me. Time and time again I have watched in awe as miracles happen. However this time I will be without the comforts of familiar faces and surroundings. I will be without even perhaps those who speak a similar language or someone I can lean on when tired. As well as I will be going with less money then anticipated. I was hoping to have about $1500, at this point with buying my plane ticket to Kazakhstan I will have $200. At this point I would probably be freaking out and doing everything I can to make this possible, however I am simply so tired that it is hard to freak out.

Embarking on an adventure, without a tight rope will definitely impact the rest of my life. Please pray, that God will whisk me away, and help me to proclaim my identity solely in Him. Pray that I may be able to find the peace with myself and within myself that I once had. Pray that I come back with light in my eyes, and compassion in my heart. Pray for my courage.

I feel like the years have weathered and worn me down, and as silly as it would be for grandpa to go sky diving because he is no longer young and zealous, I feel that it might be just as silly for me to take this leap. So I will shut my eyes, breath in, and ...
...
...
...
...
...
GO!

"It’s like being dipped in awesome all the time."

2008-08-31T14:33:00.000-07:00

Says spinnaface.

If you have not seen spinnaface at your local portland event, then consider yourself blessed. Spinnaface is dressed in all black Adidas jump suit and shell toes, and has a spinna rim for a face. He is here to get this party started and "If we can party together, maybe we can live together." Let's hope that party doesn't get too crazy Mr. Idealistic chrome dome. I cannot blame you for trying. However do you really think that partying with expensive rims, and dancing with asian girls is really going to make this world a better place? Forget spinna rims buy some land, and please, please don't pressure me into giving you a hug or high five while your video camera cartel is filming. Maybe this is a good way to get hugs as opposed to before, but You don't know me. I don't know you. You could be some kind or skezzer under there.

For those you not yet in touch with your "inna spinna" here is a short vid to catch my point.

And of course the spinnaface show::

Best Read while playing the video

2008-08-26T14:36:00.000-07:00

So last night I happened to experience my very first Bicycle beating. It was my fault really.

I was riding home from downtown. This was a last minute decision because I was thinking about just hoping on the bus with my bike, however as I started out I figured why not keep going? Feeling very confident in my no hands holding hipster style of riding I decided to call a friend I was in the middle of texting before I embarked on my journey. I did pretty well, but as the conversation started taking a little bit more concentration I quickly thought maybe I should just pull over. And before I knew it my face smacked into the pavement. Another cyclist was stopped behind me, also on his phone mind you, told the person on the other end, "hang on a second honey I am helping someone out." He helped me grab all my stuff out of the bike lane and prop my bike against the curb. To my surprise my glasses were not broken, nor any part of my body. He asked me if I was ok, to which my immediate response was, "How's my face?" He looked at me and said it looked fine. At this point I could not tell if I was bleeding. My friend that I was talking to came and picked me up and helped me clean and bandage my wounds. I am a bit of a baby when it comes to putting things on open wounds but with her help it worked out. Knowing my I could have just left it for later.

Life and accidents happen and the best part are great war wounds to share:

An all consuming God of...

2008-08-25T15:16:00.000-07:00

Recently I have found myself encountering many forms of God, and His presence, and understanding. At the very same time I have encountered many people and conversations that have allowed me to consider the vast majority of people that choose to be identified by the title "Christian" and how their prospective might be a completely different spectrum from my own.

So going through the book of simplicity, I have read that the reason there are so many people within Christianity with so many varied beliefs on one theological issue, such as is short or long hair appropriate, is because Christ came to bring us freedom of choice in order to let us decide. He did not lay out a list of rules like in the old testament because He knew that as we choose the best for others and ourselves, it will have to come out of a love of God.

Ok, cool. Everyone has different thoughts because God likes it that way.

So now here come the scenarios I digested recently. This weekend I was at the Luis Palau festival, a christian fest in which I found myself wondering..."iF there weren't so many nominal Christians would there really be the same need/ intent for such a gathering?" To which my roommate, laughed and said, "Ironically I am pretty sure other Christians look at us and think the way we live is nominal."

I had not thought of that before. There are people who would look at me, and think the same as I look at them, even though we are different. Oh... Judge not lest you be judged right?

I began talking with another friend about how one could even think that we could believe in the same Christ as a professed Christian that smokes pot. That it would be inconceivable to even put them in the same category. Would I go as far to think that they believe in a different God or just have some misunderstandings? Point thought out.

and so today, I find myself crossing a website named Godhatestheworld.com These people claim that God hates the world, and everything vile in it and that John 3:16 was taken out of context, because the "world" in this verse is referring to the kosmos and not the individual.

There a variety of beliefs within beliefs but what do we ourselves base them on? Any well meaning Christian would say, "the production of fruit."

Again another discussion with a friend reminded me of fruit. What do we often times look for in fruit? Numbers in people, numbers in money, wealth, popularity...etc, but what we should really be looking for are a different fruit altogether.
Fruit in colors of love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, and temperance.

I want this to solely be the abundance of which I can share these things with others. In me no matter what these are things that I want to grow.

Not as simple as it sounds...

2008-08-19T22:15:00.000-07:00

Ok, So today after much thought, considering the many rocks that are weighing down my soul and trying to recover on the emotional hospital bed, I have decided that a time of simplicity will not cut it for me right now.

I have learned a lot about freedom to give, and receive. I have learned about how to look at things as though they are not mine but God's and how to trust Him in that, and I have also learned about relying on others. I have truly felt a freedom that has released me from material possessions, and with this deeper understanding I have seen God's love. However it quickly went from that into something that I was binding myself to, not something I wanted to do to discover more of God. I want this discipline to live in my heart, but right now with so many other things trying to make their way out there is no room for this discipline to squeeze in among the yuck. So now I am resting, and will pick it up and put it back in again, when I am feeling a little more whole.

Tribute to the high school band students

2008-08-16T22:32:00.000-07:00

Ahh, portland... a place were anyone picked last on the high school dodge ball team can come and no holds barred live the socially wounded inner child's fearless dream. In the city of portland one would not be surprised to see people in bright colors and stilts as a part of any crowd. Hula hoops are the new black, and the kids from the high school band are now some of the most desired people to eat lunch with. I am of course referring to March 4th.

A marching band that you can't help but love.

But this is not the only thing that I love about portland. Today after sleeping in a little, I rode my bike down to hawthorne. There I enjoyed Labyrinth on the big screen (free mind you), as well as a huge street fair. From there I went to Tour de Fat

on the water front. Crazy! Let me tell you. There was a funeral for the SUV, in which they hoisted a little model up in the air and parishioned it through the crowed. They also had an area that much resembled the bumper cars at the fair, however it was filled with many makeshift wacky bikes. Which apparently I am unable to post more pictures of, Perhaps later.

Portland you are definitely a different place, but all the more enjoyable.

silence and solitude, how it didn't happen as I would like but I still met God (PS the tree was not harmed in the process of locking our bikes)

2008-08-15T16:53:00.000-07:00

So today started off a little later than planned. Waiting for the many random things that I had to wait for, I had ample time to let everyone on facebook know that I was having a Silence and Solitude day.

So we got to the water front, east side, and parted ways, only after hoisting our bikes up in a tree and locking them firmly to a branch. I walked down a path hoping to find my desired destination, but unsure of where that was. All I knew was that I wanted to be there already so I could sit and rest. Climbing down under the Powell bridge, I found some sandy ground, a great wall to rest upon, a little tree log that was perfect for a stool should I want to sit on it, and plenty of shade. I sat and thought. Thought about what I would do for the next 4 months if I had no responsibilities. First I would get a job at McDonald's (sorry Ben), but really I would. Only because with disgust I used to say that is one thing I would never do, as if I were too good for it. But real struggling people have that job, and I want to taste it (not the food the experience). Then in the middle of october I would be along my way on a pilgrimage through Ireland, to hear my name said correctly, and to spend three whole days alone with God. Then off to Kazakhstan to live and be poured into for a little while instead of always pouring out. Then to Turkey, there I would visit old friends, which have written recently as I was thinking of going there. I would come back to the states and try and convince a first nations women to teach me to build moccasins, and have a trade. Then from there I would begin a new season of vision in Portland. As I was day dreaming a little and reflecting on God, a man startled me.

Josh! I have seen him around hawthorne, and he has talked to some of my roomies before. In fact he has been to our house before. But the times before now when I have seen him and talked to him, he was distant, sad, and guarded. He started talking about how most people are afraid. I said that most people can't see past things that are different or they don't understand. Eventually he sat next to me, and talked about how the river has brought us both a sense of peace. I explained that today I went there to pray. Then we started to talk about Jesus. Josh began to laugh happily, " Are you on drugs?" he said.
"no", I said. "Well I don't know what it is but I just feel so happy sitting here and I thought that maybe it was because you were on something and it was effecting me."

We talked for about four hours, sometimes though we just sat in silence, resting in the presence of God that was there.
As it came time for both of us to go, I grabbed a rock, and inscribed and message on it, in which I felt he needed to hear at that moment, A word that I believe God had given me for him.
He was holding back tears then eventually said, "you know I keep running into people like you, and I feel good. I think maybe that means something, like I am supposed to be apart too."

I smiled, thinking about how big, loving and understanding our creator is.

Something that was not here but is now

2008-08-10T15:48:00.000-07:00

This is a video that a friend said they really enjoyed from my blog. It was not on here, but as blogs can seemingly run into each other I have decided to put the vid on my blog. Now you can say you saw it on my blog as well!

Day 4

2008-08-07T19:08:00.000-07:00

"The connection between obedience and blessing is genuinely significant, and the significance is not primarily in the notion of being rewarded for doing what is right. that has it's place, but it is a minor place, almost a childish place. The deeper reality in obedience is the kind of spirit it works into us. It is a spirit that crucifies greed and covetousness. It is a spirit of compassion and outreach. It is a spirit of sensitivity and trust. Once this inner disposition has taken over our personality, material blessings cannot hurt us, for they will be used for right purposes. We will recognize material goods to be not for us alone, but for the good of all." -Simplicity

The 40th day (ending date) is September 13th! So far, I have read two chapters of Simplicity as you can tell from the quote above. I went out with friends a few times determined to not look pathetic, I succeeded. However once I had to buy food because I unknowingly went to a place that charged a $5 minimum per person. This has been a interesting time for me because it has been a while since I knew what it was like to go somewhere and not be able to partake. I have learned it from another perspective, one of choice then of not having anything. But I have also come to appreciate so much more the times when people offer things to me especially with out knowing about my simplicity endeavor, because I see them as blessings straight from God.

This month so far:
Check for $200
gas, electric, and trash bill = $27.28
Credit card= $100
Montage food place = $10
tuesday night family dinner= $50

Infatuation

2008-08-05T10:08:00.000-07:00

I heard this three years ago, and am still just as fascinated by it. Enjoy.

It's time to go for it

2008-08-04T01:31:00.000-07:00

I am starting buy nothing tomorrow August 4th. We will see how it goes. I think it might be a little tricky or well really hard in consumer America. This could make me or brake me, and maybe in my state I will either find joy in the little things and not rely so much on the quick feel good fuzzies that flow through my body when I buy some cool shoes or a perfectly poured latte or I will well I won't go there. If at any point I feel my emotional state is in harm I will have to try this again in a new season of life.

So here is the game plan:
I have the book called simplicity by richard foster. I will start reading it.
I will pay for only bills and gas for the car, however car diving is only limited to things outside the city and when absolutely necessary.
At the end of the 40 days I will take half of my usual support (because I will also be fundraising for an upcoming trip in this time as well) from which I saved by not buying anything else and give it to another person or organization, which is still to be decided.

I am hoping to see me overcome (in a small way but not completely) my desire for wanting material things because of status or otherwise, and to see God provide as well.
Above all I want to be honest with others and myself about the difficulty and/or failures of this process, so that there is no ability for me to think that it is simple for everyone to just stop spending, as well as keep in touch with my own humanity.

A Dance

2008-08-01T10:35:00.000-07:00

A friend shared this quote, and now I am sharing it with you. It is very thought provoking and calming at the same time. Enjoy!

"Religion and poetry are akin because each is marked by a pure reserve, a kind of modesty or reverence. To follow nature sensitively, you need to follow her unveiling part of herself. You are led upwards from beauty to beauty, quietly and serenely, step by step, with no sudden leap from depths to height. Beauty is shy, is not like a man rushing out in front of a crowd. Religion too, if it is wise, models itself upon the ways of Scripture, where the treasure of truth is hidden from the idle and unread, to be seen on when eye of the mind is pure."

-John Keble

Counselors, and why we need them?

2008-07-28T16:39:00.000-07:00

I was thinking today that I should try having a second counselor; well actually a third if I count my dear friend who meets with me once a week, and most of the time it consists of me verbally puking on her.
Why would I need a second counselor? I mean I do have one already. She is wonderful, and helps me with practical things while I am deep pealing my heart so that it may heal properly and love to its fullest. (That last thought, "love to its fullest" made me feel a little sick because it sounds so fairy tale fantasy. However I really do hope that it may truly love.)

So back to this thought of having another counselor; why on earth would I need a different counselor then the one I have already, when I live in a large (8 people & 2kids) community house? Why then can I not just talk with any of them on any occasion? Or how about the numerous amount of friends I have in the area?

Well other then prescribing me prescription drugs, I can only figure that the reason I would need someone else to talk to is because we are not where we should be as a community and or I am not where I should be in this community. Now I am not only simply referring to my house but more so the populous. The many people that flow in and out of our lives. Perhaps my view is now looking through dimly lit glasses, but through this I would say that today as we continue to look towards things that numb the pain, or allow us to feel anything but numb, we are missing out on all the beauty that is relationships.

I was watching high fidelity.

In the end when John Cusak asks his girlfriend to marry him, he says, that for the longest time he was in love with the fantasy of having a girl. In the fantasy they have little cute problems like she wants to see a movie that he has already seen. In the fantasy she only has really cute under ware, but in their relationship they have much bigger problems. Everyday problems, like she doesn't even want to see the same movie, and has cute under ware, but has the ugly kind that has been washed many times too. Now though he realizes that the fantasy was holding him back.

I think it is like this in most relationships. Whether it be romantic, Platonic, business, or otherwise. We all want the fantasy relationship. We are friends and we are laughing type of pleasant relationship.

Now as I bring this back full circle, I think that at this point I cannot provide anyone with the pleasant fantasy relationship that they desire. I am out there and messy and me. If we cannot talk truthfully, and cannot discuss differences or basically communicate then our relationship will not grow. If I only listen and never have a chance to speak then I will continue to listen yet I will need more introverted time later. If we cannot lay our guards down and bond with one another then we will continue to fight against our brother.

So if in my own internal struggle I cannot see the face of my brother, I will flee, flee, flee. And what better person to flee to then to someone whom I know will listen to my because I paid them too.

Simplicity

2008-07-24T14:17:00.000-07:00

I can so relate to this video from you tube...

A year ago I went I see that movie....Borat. The sad thing was my first plan was to see a $3 movie, where they also serve Pizza and Beer. I was hungry and wanted to get a cheep slice with my movie, and then a friend couldn't go because you needed to be 21 to go into that movie theater.

So Cristyn and I went to regal cinema and watched Borat. A matenee is $6.25. I was astounded, shows how long its been since I was at one of those movie theaters.

I was starving and walked up to the snack stand... they didn't have prices on anything... so I asked the lady... "How much is a ..1 (med soda, and a pretzel)?"
$7.95!!!!
"Ok, How much is a ..2 (med popcorn med soda)?"
$9.50!!!
I was famished but refused. I was really upset because I couldn't find something that wouldn't cost me my soul.
Cristyn said. "Why don't you get a soda that will fill you up....."
"Because I could feed 5 children in Africa for the price of that soda!" I said with tears in my eyes.

This was not a good start to watching a movie filled with conotations about how currupt america is!

Lately I have been thinking about the idea of simplicity. And have been more so trying to figure out when is it a season to go grab a bite with a friend or see a band play and when is it a time to keep my wants locked away. Soon very soon, I am starting a 40day fast from buying anything. A few others and I will not buy anything, as we work out the details we are thinking that this will also include food. We have a garden and will trust for our provision. When it is over I would like to donate half of what I saved to a charity that helps to provide food. We shall see. That is the idea.

Family Din Din

2008-07-23T00:52:00.001-07:00

Oh the wonderful joys of community. Tonight, together we experienced another expression of what it means to really share together as a community. Old friends and new came. It felt real and like what a family should be. There was comfort, and love, and opportunity to really share on a heart level and through laughter. After dinner, like always we pray, pray for our house, our sleep, and our friends, that God would continue to really show us more. Tonight we encouraged each other, stood by one another, knowing that we are not alone. God graciously provided all our needs, and I was deeply blessed. I am thankful that our creator should care so much about us all, and that he has imparted His love into each of us.

I felt overjoyed that there were so many people that I feel so endeared to in one room. My heart cannot contain the comfort and love that I felt with those who came.

Walking down the road

2008-07-22T00:42:00.000-07:00

The plan is righteousness, and the hope is to do things greater than the master. As I walk along my path, how could I be so arrogant to think that at 25, and with only a few years of half hearted devotion to study, that I could fully understand your teachings? I can barely live out the most important yet basic and straight foreword thought, "Love God and Love others." Oh, How do I try, yet still cannot comprehend it in its fullest. So how can I say that I have everything figured out? How can I say I know exactly how we should all behave of those that are in and out of the community of your followers? I cannot, yet I can still say that love, joy, peace, goodness, gentleness, long-suffering, faith, patience, meekness, and temperance will bring us together, and the rest will simply divide.

another chance

2008-07-18T00:10:00.000-07:00

The gospel has not much ado about heaven or hell, but I believe that Jesus came to show us a new life, and how to live it now. He talked about being born anew. One life, same body, but a second chance.

The idea is hard to grasp, but gives us hope in the moment. When things get hard with the mentality of heaven as the goal entertaining the thought of dying and living a new life in heaven sounds better then dealing with struggles. Though our hope for today is that we can spiritually, inwardly be reborn into a new man or woman which brings about peace and a new way a living.

Most people put away the thoughts of death, because it is of the future, and unknowing. They think only a lunatic would tell them they are going to hell with certainty, I know I would should someone approach me in such a definite fashion as to tell me I am going to hell because of this belief, that short coming, or wrongdoing.

Dear friends of Jesus, People cannot be scared into decisions because if they are they will soon reject it. However if people seek and find God inwardly, through the spirit, they will find an understanding of divine love. Out of love they will make good decisions not because someone told them they had to but because they want to. When we want something as people we make it happen, and we will sometimes focus our whole life goal around it.

This to me the gospel is an act of the here and now. Showing, teaching and living a life that points people in the direction to seek the holy face of God.

Why do I need this?

2008-07-17T17:05:00.000-07:00

Two videos that look at alternatives on spending.

2.

Carrotmob Makes It Rain from carrotmob on Vimeo

the long lost art of hope

2008-07-13T15:44:00.000-07:00

For a quite a few months I had been experiencing a state in which hopelessness seemed to consistently invade my perspective on life. I am not normally one to dwell in this state. I have always pulled myself up by my adidas straps and kept on walking. However the many circumstances and stresses in my life quickly pulled me downward, left me feeling heavy, and hung me out to dry.

I believe through this I am learning that I cannot keep trying to be in control.

So each day I kept on walking. Feeling as if I were dehydrated and not fully able to live in the conscious world, I walked. I tried to love, with what little bit I could muster, and I tried to empathize and be sincere. I tried, but really to just get out of bed was a feat in itself and some days still is.

One week ago, the heaviness gleaming through my eyes I met with two wonderful wise women that were put in my path not by happenstance. We talked over Moroccan tea, about life. A deep connection, that allowed us to put all of our hearts on the table, and really speak the truth that is love. We were not afraid to bring each other closer than arms length, and we were honest. Through that meeting and learning more about the process of life, I felt as if angels were ministering to me. Something that I have was telling God I needed. Our creator spoke to me through those women, and brought a new safe sense to the word journey; and so once again I glimpsed hope.

What initially caused this was my realization that I am passionate about two things. Celebration of spiritual disciplines in the context of community and Turkey (the country).

So in my process of healing this is what brought me hope...

I am planning a trip for either october, or february. I am planing on going to Ireland. There is a YWAM base there, and one of their staff hosts silence and solitude retreats. I plan to go there, see how their ministry is ran, and take part in my first ever guided silence and solitude retreat. The possibilities are endless, perhaps after this experience I will be able to provide a more structured time during our monthly day of silence and solitude or may be in the future I will be able to provide something like this for teams.

Second I will go to Kazakhstan. In that country I will meet with some people who will be working there, and with them I will have an opportunity to dream about the possibilities of a future in Turkey.

Oh what is the wonderfulness that comes of this? There is something here and now that I am passionate about and there is something on the horizon I am passionate about. I lost sight of them, but this week I saw them. I still feel heavy and everything has not yet healed, but after sitting in my darkness for so long, this simple slice of light has shone through.

I will need help funding this endeavor, so if you are reading this and I have your cell phone number expect a call from me soon, or if you don't hear from me and would like to help me get to these places I am thinking I will need around $4000 USD, so you can e-mail me your number, or I can give you my paypal.

peace

Is there a limit?

2008-06-24T17:33:00.000-07:00

When we are told to love God and love others, is there a limit to how much? Should we only love others as long as we are comfortable? Safe? Able to easily set boundaries?

There is a woman whom has become apart of our family. Her name is Nikole. We meet Nikole one night back in November. She was in the Fred Mayer on the phone looking for a place to go. I watched her as she hung up the phone in desperation holding the hand of her two year old son. She was trying to get out of an abusive situation. My roommate and I invited her to stay with us for a little while, and during that time we found out that she was six months pregnant as well. She was with us for two weeks and taught a lot about how sometimes we can be stuck in a comfortable way of living with out really trying to improve. An example of what I mean is, a lot of us would with out thinking let cuss words slip from our tongue. However with a two year old that like to repeat words this was not a favorable option for Nikole. She stayed and two weeks later found a new place, and I was unsure if we would ever see her again.

About six weeks ago, she called and asked if she could just spend one night with us, as she was planing on leaving the state in the morning by bus. Two days later she came back unable to get on the bus. She stayed another week, and left for the weekend. Sunday night she came back in tears. CPS had taken her children from her, now a two month old and a two year old. Ever since she has been living with us and we have been trying everything to help her get her children back. We have been going with her to court and trying to talk to different people in CPS. She has been staying with us, and has contributed what she can. It has been good but has been hard. Hard because this is really a mile marker for us as a community. We have to do this together, or it will fail. Hard because some people would rather draw the line in different places. Hard because it seems sometimes hopeless for Nikole and all we can do is wait with her, and listen. hard because do to certain circumstances unrelated to Nikole sometimes she has to go a week without seeing her children. Fustrating because communication has been rough with CPS.

So now I wonder, to truly live a life in the way of Jesus, can one put a limit on how much they are willing to give, on how much they should love, and make the direction so black and white?

If you are reading this right now I covet your prayers for our dear friend. That she would be reunited in a timely fashion, and have many open opportunities to her in order to make this happen. That communication would be better between CPS and us and Nikole. That through everything Nikole would have peace and we would be able to love her to the best of our ability.

Thanks

A dear friend, room mate, and wounded soul

2008-06-23T19:24:00.000-07:00

Today I felt as though I went to the doctor. I had a little heart surgery. For the first time in awhile I felt I could talk freely, completely open, in a safe environment and there was someone to listen; Not judge. And not tell me what was wrong and how to fix it, but to encourage me and show me a glimpse of hope and that it is ok to not look like all the other robots in the city, cycling along on their emotional impulse feeding frenzy in order to try and escape from noticing any type of pain. This was a big step for me. Up until now there were only two others that I felt I could talk to on a regular basis face to face. However the possibility someone might over hear, or the fact that we were in a public place I was not wanting to cry; I held it in. So today I met with a counselor and I could feel again. She told me that it was ok to feel. That many times we hold people at arms length so that we do not have to enter their pain. Either I didn't want to be a burden to others, or I had experiences in which people were not wanting to mourn with me, and instead in reaction I was bottling everything up. NUMB.

One other thing I have processing this week was told to me by a wonderful friend that I love and respect so deeply. She said that maybe God is teaching me that I need to stop trying to carry everything, but instead is bringing me to a place where I will have to give it to him. I have been chewing on this for a few days now then ran across this episode of Bleach...

Renji : You freekn' worry too much.
Always have.
No one thinks as badly of you as you think they do. Quit beatn' yourself up all the time.
You know you ain't sturdy enough to stand carrying everything on your shoulders.
Split it. On my shoulders... on Ichigo's shoulders. Load up little by little, and stand little by little.
That's why we became strong. Believe in him (Ichigo), Rukia.

Rukia: I'm sorry, Renji.

Renji: Stupid, you're not supposed to apologize for that.

Rukia: Thank you

Renji: Stupid, you're not supposed to say thanks, either.

As the day is long

2008-06-12T23:04:00.000-07:00

Right now in our community, we are experimenting with the idea of what it looks like to be Jesus to our neighbors. In this city and where ever else I live I hope to live in a way that is close to humanity, understanding, wise, and compassionate as well as in a way that challenges the norm. I feel that every time I look at scriptures it challenges me to live to the fullest in a way that is simple, and loving.

Because of this desire, I am motivated to help people like the women living with us, and above all love people. Weather or not they have mental illnesses, drug addictions, or mountains that seem impossible to tackle. Weather or not they will let us down, or fail, because this is not for us, but for God. Love until it hurts right?

Right now my biggest fear is that I am doing the wrong thing by helping.

We are not going to just leave her on the street, and all of us are committed to finding the best place for her. I am hoping the Arima house will have a space soon because that seems like the best place we have found so far. I believe that she needs people to love her, invest in her, and show her the love I believe Jesus shows through and to all of us.

You've been noticed by him!

2008-06-12T13:38:00.000-07:00

What a great marketing scam. I open this email to see what it is all about:

"Dear tierney

Your profile has been viewed by 0 members seeking someone like you!

"You've Been Noticed" is an exciting new way for you to discover who has been intrigued by you."

Thank you internet gods for concealing my fate and purposefully going out of your way, to tell me that 0 people are intrigued by me. So as wonderful as it may seem to "connect" with these hundreds of people knocking down my virtual door. I am proud to tell you that there is some flaw in your dating market, and I will not send a text to the number provided, nor give you my credit card number, or my zodiac sign. Thanks random dating service for thinking of me.... but then again can you stop stalking my information and leave me alone, single in peace?

Quarter life crisis

2008-06-07T19:49:00.000-07:00

I am stuck feeling trapped in my 25th year of life. Now is the time when I am realizing I am no longer a youth. That it is time to grow up, and though I have had many responsibilities since I was young they seem different now; More so grown up. I am not just responsible for myself and my bills, and my things, but I am also responsible for others, and to help others. I am also more mature spiritually and with that also comes responsibility.

The first thing I noticed in my transition, is clothes. Up until a maybe 6 months ago, I was perfectly fine still wearing clothes that I owned from high school. Now I am finding that that is not working for me. I would much rather wear things that look nice, and are darker in color and that are not t-shirts. However my closet is filled with brightly colored items, vintage, old, tattered, or somewhat new as well as many t-shirts that I still have from high school.

A week ago I went to a court date with a friend to support her and I realized that the only bags I had looked like they belonged in the Bratz collection at the mall. Not suitable for a moderately professional Business outfit. So I borrowed one from a friend.

I woke up this morning with a bad neck pain. After thinking about its source I remembered that this has been happening the whole week and that maybe it was time for a new grown up pillow. Now let me tell you that I have never bought a pillow. I am not sure where all my pillows came from. I think I may have had them since I was little, which mean that they probably belonged to my grandma before that.

So I decided as hard as it was that I should probably go to the store and buy a grown up pillow, and a grown up bag. I was kinda depressed about it.

um awkward...

2008-06-06T17:14:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking lately about the feeling of being alone. What does it mean? Why do so many feel alone? How can you feel alone in a relationship, in a marriage, in a community, or in a city. When one is in these very things what do they really mean when they say they are feeling lonely or alone.

a·lone·ness, noun

—Synonyms 1. single, solitary; unaccompanied, unattended. Alone, lone, lonely, lonesome all imply being without companionship or association. Alone is colorless unless reinforced by all; it then suggests solitariness or desolation: alone in the house; all alone on an island. Lone is somewhat poetic or is intended humorously: a lone sentinel. Lonely implies a sad or disquieting feeling of isolation. Lonesome connotes emotion, a longing for companionship.

I remember my grandpa saying he was lonesome with out my grandma being next to him. I hear stories of those who are afraid to chase their dreams, because they feel that it will be a lonely road. In my head I feel alone in a room filled with people. We come into this world alone and will leave it alone.

So this feeling of alone what do we do with it. How do we reflect it into a contentment, instead of it's constant looming sorrow, that reappears to us when we least expect it or least want it.

In this big world of people, we are never truly alone, there are always people coming into our path, sitting next to us on the bus, or sharing living courters. Yet how do we connect our outer and inner loneliness.

Ding Dong the wicked witch is dead!

2008-06-06T10:40:00.000-07:00

We are here today to celebrate the demise of the sport utility vehicle, or "SUV." A symbol of great status in america, but mostly it is about greed.

Oh, the wonderful American dream, yet the rest of the worlds worst nightmare.

The SUV has been around too long; from the 1990s to the mid-2000s. During this time there has been much complaining about the environmental impact these vehicles have. There has been many in my city who have resorted to even placing explosive devises on these beasts.

Really, I can't say the death came as a surprise, as all things must go away in the end. I only wished it would have happened sooner.

If you are just as excited about this as I you can celebrate by visiting a wonderful website in which there are many people who are opposed to hummer 2's. It is called www.fuh2.com There you will find photos filled with artistic expression and many hands flipping the bird to these SUV's.

in the news:

" you don’t buy a vehicle to leave it in your garage. You buy it to drive it. So it makes sense to consider the full costs of ownership, which include insurance, interest, repairs, taxes and, of course, gasoline. If gas remains near $4 a gallon, as many analysts expect, a big vehicle like the F-250 will cost $100,000 for an owner who keeps it for a typical amount of time (five years) and drives it a typical amount (15,000 miles a year). The gas alone would cost about $30,000, up from about $10,000 in the 1990s." - new york times

I am very thankful to friends who have helped me to find joy in my bicycle.

Thankful to a community in which we can share a car, and therefore reduce the cost. In fact i don't think I really want to ever solely own a car again. I am gazing on a path of simplicity, and am hoping to continue to walk willingly in that direction.

Real Love

2008-01-16T11:16:00.000-08:00

I have read before, "God is Love and Love is real.... but love sucks; so then God is bigger then love."

I watched this movie recently called The Network. Made in the 70's, it projects what television has done to our senses. There is one part where an older man is confronting a younger woman, telling her that she has grown up watching TV and has no concept of relationship, or loving. She can't just turn this off or switch to a commercial break. How he solely wants to love her, but she in incapable of loving back, only because she doesn't understand.

As I was praying today, I knew that I wanted to know God's love in my life. My idea of love makes me feel empowered, but also makes me feel insecure. It lives in moments and not in eternity. Love can toy with my emotions, twisting and turning like a tornado in my heart and head.

True Love however, I believe is intimate, and in a place where TV, Internet, and our society does not let us go. So with God how do I let go of my idea of love? I am ready to let go now. I no longer want to be distracted by everything around me. I no longer want to pretend it's ok, or that I am ok, or that strength will get me through. I want to go deeper, and discover the love that doesn't happen on the levels only I can bring myself to. Love that is beyond my understanding.

This thought is scary, a leap into the darkness, a wild unabandonment, but if I turn around I will only be going back to the place I was in. I will not be moving forward.

So may God show me his great, true love, that lies beyond the love that only mere humans can contrive in their heads; and my I leap forward within myself.

When there aren't just coincendences

2007-12-09T13:13:00.000-08:00

Last night, my flat mate Cory and I decided to go out dancing. We have tired this before, on the search to find a place where we can dance and meet great people. So far each small attempt has been unsuccessful, however last night is a story all it's own.

We set out for a Place called Ararat, on MLK... sounds like a cool place... we park along with some of the many various cars in the businesses closed and signs posted parking lot. Walking over we discover that it is not the place we were looking for, but Before we even get in, We start talking to a wonderful, down to earth girl, Brie. We made a connection. and all through out the night we would stop to converse.

We get inside, and dance, on a sticky floor that is not easy on the dancing shoes. Suddenly out of no where they start playing some rock'n'roll song. Cory and I decide to exit the stage and walk out side, away from the racket. We meet new people. A beautiful mother, and very proud, she was just getting out with the girls for a night. I love this girl too, we began to talk about our occupations, and that is always a great way for me to share... we began to talk about God and church, and it was really fruitful. I am hoping that she will come to church with me in the future.

Its time to leave and we walk towards the car... and it's gone. TOWED. Of all the times for this to happen, its the time when we are bringing love and truth, and there is receptivity. We get a ride to the tow place... its $200 which is a lot to someone who only makes $600 a month.

If there is anything that you feel you can do to help, please pray for Brie, and Lisa, that we could have good friendships with them. Also I have been seeking God to provide this money, if you feel that you could be an answer to this prayer please let me know.

Also please pray for the YWAM base in Denver... as there were to staff members that were shot there last night.
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,316244,00.html

a letter unsent

2007-08-27T18:40:00.000-07:00

This is a letter written before I recieved your response. I keep thinking about the wonderful things God has been teaching me this week and how it corrosponds with His teaching you, as described in your last letter, LOVE.

Today I have been, and am still, sitting by the river spending time in the presence of God. At the beginning of the week I started reading a book called "Sex God" by Rob Bell. An amazing book, that talks about how God is very much apart of our connectedness. How our wanting to connect with others in all types of relationship, is not with out God encompassing all aspects. I realized my hurt when friends flaked out on me. Promising to hang out and then being left alone. (I will come back to this.)

So on wednesday we went downtown to pass out socks, snacks, and tolitres to the street people. This week it was my job to follow and pray. At first I realized in my heart and in my mates that our gifts lacked the love of Jesus. That we logged our homeless friend into a book and then moved forward to the next person in need, never getting too close (relationally), never getting our hearts dirty, and never leaving room to be let down or hurt.

Mother Teresa is famous for saying, "Love unitl it hurts." I think there is something that she knew when she said this simple statement. That love hurts. Love hurts but if we don't risk it, then we cannont truely love.

Now loving until it hurts unconditionally? That's a lot of hurt. No matter what state people are at, willing to move forward or needing to stay stuck in their mess, we are only to present them with our hearts exposed, ready to accepted or badly beaten. Carrying grace, forgiveness, and love.

Which brings me back to my friends. I realized that if I cannot uncondtionally love them, then how can I do this to those I don't know without Judgement? I am choosing to move forward. Accept their flakiness and be there for them. Forgive them, and still invite them to hang out.

To not be fearful of relationship, people or spiders and be willing to be hurt, because life gets messy, hearts get hurt, but God always heals!

I hope your having a blessed time and your Journey with Gods love, may you never reach the end in this lifetime.

Bikes and Vespas carry messangers of love,

Tierney

The Blessings Continue!!!

2007-08-01T06:51:00.000-07:00

I KNOW that you guys have been praying for me. This week I have felt/ seen/ experienced God move in my life like never before. So many were quick to pray, respond, encourage, and help in anyway you could. To you my wonderful family I thank you. I thank you, that you understand the greatest meaning of being there for each other when we are in need. I pray that you too are richly blessed, and that if there is a time of need in your life that I would be just as quick to respond.

So the update is as follows. I currently have one staff, and one intern, who is praying about a two year commitment in Sept. I have three staff comming at the end of this month, and I have a few others that are applying, to come at the same time. I have money in my bank, and a lot to work on.

This last week has seemed like a year, but since all this has happened I have now felt a release from God. We have so many ministries in the works, and so much vision from God. If you are interested in that you can check it out on our YWAM Portland Blog by clicking the link on the right side of the page.

I will leave you with one of the most touching words that I have recieved:

"Tierney, The name Tierney if of Irish and Gaelic origin and means "lord". Like your name, you are rare and you have a greand calling and will be victorious! God has called you to Portland to be a rare shining light. You may endure hard times but God will honor you and make you a conqueror. He is so proud of you and will help you through all the trials you encounter.

Romans 8:30-35

After God made that decision of what Tierney should be like, he followed it up by calling her by name. After he called her by name, he set her on a solid basis with himself. And then, after getting her established, he stayed with her to the end, gloriously completeing what he had begun. So, what do you think? With God on Tierney's side like this, how can she lose? If God didn't hesitate to put everything on the line, embracing our condition and exposing himself to the worst by sending he own Son, is there anything else he wouldn't gladly and freely do for Tierney?... The One who died for us - who was raised to life for us! - is in the presence of God at this very moment sticking up for Tierney. Do you think anyone is going to be able to drive a wedge between Tierney and Christ's love for her? There is no way! Not trouble, not hard times, not hatred, not hunger, not homelessness, not bullying threats, not backstabbing, not even the worst sins listed in Scripture."

Thank you all, and may praise be to God, who is, and was and is to come!

Nothing Left but Jesus!

2007-07-24T08:52:00.000-07:00

So I am starting this non-profit... still am... but not without a fight, bigger then what I thought I was going to have to endure. I have nothing... my savings account is at - $3.67, my checking soon to be somewhere along those lines probably today, I don't really have any possessions worth value. And as far as staff wise, All my staff will be leaving, well I can't say that for sure. One of them is, and another has some choices to make.... I wish I could pin point what it was in me that caused all this... and I know that I am not perfect at everything. But whether its the city that doesn't want us here, or that all my staff were struggleing with sin in daily life, or both, I can only choose to move forward from here. I will not give up just yet it is way too soon! God is on my side, he will keep me strong, and give me my daily bread. My provision comes from Him alone, and He is giving with all things. Never perfectly before have I seen Gods hand carefully bring so much together.

I had a dream the other night, I was driving in a red truck full of people. It started raining really hard, and cars started crashing all around me. I was scared, and about to hit a crash that occured right in front of me. But then the truck was slid inbetween the cars, out of harms way. God had glided the cars and kept me safe. Not once, but twice.

Even though everything was crashing around me, God never stopped leading me. Words cannont express how greatful I am to A God of love, compassion, and caring. May I always be stronger because of this. May I always remember his faithfulness, and may I live desprately for him, with nothing else in the way. The things of this world, have no Joy, Peace, or Love like our creator.

Viva (no en) Las Vegas

2007-07-05T16:37:00.000-07:00

Everytime... this time, the last time, and the time before.

I stay all day in this house of mirrors, pumped with cold air chemicals and cynical comments.

Never in a place have I faced so many arrows. Here they are super secret ninja like, they wait until the perfect moment when you are not looking, they shoot forward, sent from a loved one right into the heart, "maybe you should get a real job." "let's just go to wal-mart" "why should we worry about water conservation, and helping people." "What else can we get" "boob jobs are $3395." " we are so fat." AHHHH consumerism, Apathy, AHHHHHH Greed, Lonelyness, AHHHHHHH, Vainty..... as I sit trying to mend my wounds. Before I am ready to come back out I get called... "Tierney, come here."

"The house of hurt," I called it. Everyone is unseeing, dependant on one another, unhealthy, insecure, uncontent. When you mix a whole family of bleeding hearts, and add not one person to mend the wounds, you end up swimming, you end up tired of treading, so all you have left to do is float.

I know that I wish I could never come back to satan's Kitchen ever again. If my bi-annual visits stop however, I might find myself comming back for a more unexpected completely different event... I love them in my heart, in my memory, but in life my grandparents are two too different people. My cousin's as much as my heart is with them, they are stuck in the teenage melodrama that is life to understand why we should make a difference in peoples lives. My mom and my aunt... two peas in one pod that gets a little tight sometimes... they are so similar yet can't see it.

I cannot come here for vacation anymore, and the next time I come back hopefully I will have some health ins, so I can get some anxiety meds.... it happens everytime. My chest feels like its going to cave in and I feel like leaving... now is the time I pray... Jesus.... help me see you past all the mucky muck.

1.8 % of the people in the city

2007-04-05T08:58:00.000-07:00

of Portland are "Christ followers." I am for sure in the minority group. This is hard. I get a lot of crap thrown at me, pre-judgements placed apon me, that have nothing to do with Jesus. People find out that I love Jesus and what he did, and all of a sudden they start preaching at me. Sure it sounds different then the gospel of the Bible, and still they will "push" their beliefs on me.

Why can't we discuss the things we know and love and want to see different in the world with out letting our pride get in the way? I say this to me too...

I saw this bumper sticker today. "Just say NO to sex, with pro-lifers." This made me so sad. This one sentence seems to carry a lot of hate, hurt, rejection, accusation, all rolled into a ball with laughter sprinkles trying to cover it up and make it seem pretty.

Mother Teresa said, "I feel that the greatest destroyer of peace today is abortion, because it is a war against the child - a direct killing of the innocent child - murder by the mother herself. And if we accept that a mother can kill her own child, how can we tell other people not to kill one another?"

When first reading the few words of this bumper sticker, you assume what is going to come next is an even more positive message, not... what comes next.

First I want to look at the word pro-life. For-life... For life outside of the context is a beautiful thing. We are for life, when we protest the war in Iraq, we are pro life when we recycle, and conserve water, we are pro life when we choose to buy things that are fair trade. WE are wanting to preserve life... except when it comes to babies in the womb. I don't understand this, could someone explain it to me?

I wonder if as we continue down this road if God and evolution would revoke the natural gift to procreate since we keep altering ourselves to not?

Second, this statement seems pretty selfish in my minds eye. "I know right away that I am going to have another abortion if needed becuase I don't want to raise a kid. Instead of being responsible for my actions and accepting consequenses that could take place I would much rather state that If this should happen you are going to give me $150 to pay for half." Now I am not addressing the feelings and decisions that come in the moment of finding out, but the already preconceived decision that I will have an abortion.

By the way... Just say NO to sex, with people that have STIs. I think 70% of the US population have some sort of STI. That really significantly lowers your chances of having sex doesn't it?

OK so maybe I was looking way too far into this statement by adding these words but some of this unerlying tone speaks from the sticker into my heart.

I wonder if there was a group of people that would kill thier dogs, say that they would rather not have responsibility for them. Would animal rights activists be protesting? Would the world think that it is inhumane to kill a baby animal? But it's their dog, it's their choice right?

Relationships are so Important

2007-03-20T08:46:00.000-07:00

Last week for us here at YWAM Portland could be
described using a mixture of adjectives. Like on a
blog description I would state that our moods were,
excited, energetic, thoughtful, sincere, hopeful,
tired, fustrated, confused, and strengthened. Our big
word from the Lord for this time was SERVE!!!

Many things have happened in the last few weeks
involving meeting lots of new people. ..

Faith, a wonderful woman from the central coast
of California came here to spend the week with us and
pray about comming on staff. We have all grown so
close to her these last few days, and have really had
some amazing times with her. We hope she comes back
on staff.

Alexander, a young man, who was drunk and on
drugs. We met him at one of the only hip places
underagers can go. We gave him a ride home and
ministered to and prayed for him saturday night.

Ken, a pastor here in Portland. He is having an
open discussion forum for non-christians, which we are
working on together, to reach out to people who have
questions about God and Christianity, and are excited
about working together more in the future.

Brian, who is a YWAMer called to Turkey. He will
be there next week, looking for a house for himself
and his family. He came over to our house and spoke
to us of Gods' heart to see the old pass away, and new
life come to that beautiful country.

Jonathan, a man who laughs with His whole heart and
body, has come to our family dinner the last two
thursdays. He really appreciates coming and
connecting with us.

Marcel, a cool guy into hip hop and that scene, who
is really considering focusing his life on Jesus. He is
refreshing to have around. We want to see God work so
much in his life.

New Wine and Cheese, a group of college students
who discuss postmodernism, the arts and Jesus,
worldview, politics, and justice and then put into
action their discussions. We are really excited to
get together with these guys more.

So hopefully I was able to paint a picture of a few
of the people we have encountered, as one of our goals
is to build relationships within the city.

Also, we've been working on our Ad Packets, which are
nearly ready. We will be meeting with pastors around
Portland and giving them the ad packets, which explain
what YWAM Portland is about. Hopefully this will be a
great time of connecting with our city and finding the
needs of different areas and congregations, and
discovering new ways we can serve them.

In May we are going on a three week outreach to the
beautiful and mysterious country of Turkey. We
believe that God is doing some big things there, and
we are so excited to be a part of it!! Please pray
for us as we plan this great adventure, and for God's
continued provision in health, creative evangelism
ideas, and finances. We are hoping to raise enough
money to buy our plane tickets, which we are budgeting
at $1000 a person, by next week. So please remember
to pray for that very important aspect of our trip.

Many blessings!!
Love, Tierney

The world beyond our city!

2007-02-21T12:34:00.000-08:00

TO TURKEY!!!! Thats right we are going to Turkey. It's funny how when I moved here to Portland, the sentance always came out of my mouth, "that reminds me of Turkey." I really think that there are a lot of similarities between these two cultures.

The month of May the 6th- 27th we are going on a staff outreach to Turkey.

I am soooo excited about this oppurtunity. We plan on going there and serving in anyway we can, Loving people the way Jesus would, and leave them challanged and wanting more.

This will be AP's first time over seas, and hopefully we can get him some rap shows so he can rock the Turks ears off.

Cristyn will be leading this outreach. This will be her first time leading an outreach and I am so proud of her for taking this on.

And with Lori there I am sure she will bring tons of creative ideas on how to share ourselves with the Turks.

This will be my second time there, these pictures are from my first I am so excited to go back and see how God had blessed that wonderful counrty.

We will be starting to fund raise soon so if you have any ideas for things that we can do to raise money, or if you would like to contribute please let me know. We need to raise at leat $2000 each.

Thank you for your prayers and love!

(I have set up a paypal account to make things easier for some of my supporters if you would prefer to do it that way.)

-Tierney

Our Base!!!

2007-02-15T13:02:00.000-08:00

So it has taken me awhile but I am wanting to connect you more with what I am talking about and all the crazy things our YWAM Portland team is doing and will do in the future.

This is our base... Well the two upstairs apartments anyway. We hope to one day be able to rent the whole building, weather that's for a cafe type thing for the High Schoolers across the street, or a drop in center for the homeless, or extra staff housing. Either way the extra space would be used as a blessing! (notice the YWAM Portland Sign)

This is our living room... I love the peach color. This is pretty much my office.

Speaking of Office.... This is our office! Don't let all those computers fool you. They don't belong to the base... But all the beautiful office furniture does! Our regional director helped get it donateded a few months ago.

This is our guest room.... it's for you! Come and stay with us!

and because this is where the heart of the house is, here is the kitchen....

We have two bed rooms as well but I will spare your eyes by not sharing those pictures with you.

I hope you enjoyed the tour of our place and I will send out some more pics, with actually doings soon!
Love Tierney